When I was a child, I remember wanting to be the kind of family who take in people who don’t have anyone or who need a family. I’m sure in some ways that was spurred by the fact that I wanted a sister. We were, in a way. My family would take in cousins who needed somewhere to stay and brought friends or cousins along on most outings. When I was real small, my parents took in a friend of the family and contemplated adoption. The girl was almost of age so they decided not to but the thought was there. My extended family might also have played a role in this thinking because we welcomed anyone into the family, to any family occasion!
When I was 20 years old, I was a preschool teacher and one of my students was the adopted son of a teacher at the same preschool. I taught 2 year olds. The class was usually loud and busy, as you can only imagine. The kids were funny and sweet (some crazy) and impressionable. They were easy to love and just as easy to be irritated with. This little boy was no exception. Oh, how I loved him. He was wild and he was sweet. He was full of life and love and he had my heart. He could kick a ball around like no other 2 year old I knew. I was just totally in awe of this boy. He amazed me! I saw the love between him and his Mom. It was an even exchange and it was heart gripping to say the least. They had this little song they would sing. It was simple and wonderful. It went like this, “I love you so much, so much, so much. I love you so much, so much, so much!” That was all there was to it and it was evident, they fully meant it.
This boy was a drug baby when they first fostered him as an infant. He was just a little thing! They fed him and took great care of him. His new Daddy was able to be home with him the first year or so of his life. By the time I had the privilege to know him, he was a healthy 2 year old.
At nap time one day, I remember rubbing his back to help him fall asleep. This was common practice at nap time. This particular day, I was brushing his toe head blonde hair with my fingers and rubbing his back. I was looking into his sweet little face and I was amazed at my God. I felt sorry for his biological parents that they were missing out on this bundle of joy. I felt happy for him and his new parents because God had him for them and them for him. That feeling was so overwhelming for me and in that moment, I knew I could love a child as my own who was not born of me. I knew even if that child wasn’t flesh and blood, the child would be mine, always intended for me by my God who is the author of my life.
Ever since the nap that changed my life, I’ve looked forward to the day when I could share in this type of experience. I’ve never known what it would look like, still don’t. I don’t know when or how but I know someday! Every once in a while I day dream about a baby whose maybe being born as I think, or a child already out there who is mine. Luckily, I married a man who is on the same page as me. His desire has grown more in the past years for adoption.
Over the years, I’ve read things and seen things that increase my desire and my excitement for adoption. I read Barbara Walter’s memoir and in it was a story of a time when her adopted daughter asked about being born and she told her child, “You were born in my heart.” I thought that was a sweet way of putting it. I have two children now, born of my flesh, out of my womb but someday I’ll have one born of my heart and I love that child already!
My children got “Santa Paws” for Christmas. It’s a cute story with little orphan girls looking for love and family. It got my heart thinking again about taking someone in who needs a home, a little love. I asked the kids if maybe someday they would want to take in someone like those little girls without a mommy or daddy. They said yeah.
Right now, I’m in the process of reading “Choosing to See” by Mary Beth Chapman. It’s a heart wrenching story of the loss of a child but it’s also the story of the love of a child, born of her heart, as Barbara Walter’s would put it. It’s only making me yearn deeper to love a child who has none. I was reading a little this morning and my little ones wanted to see the pictures in the book so I was showing them. They wanted to know who everyone was and I would point everyone out and tell their names. I pointed out the three little adopted girls and told them they were little girls without a mommy and daddy just like the girls in the Santa Paws movie (which ironically we were watching at the time). I explained how God had a new Mommy and Daddy for them and now they have a family and even siblings. My kids were thrilled. I asked again if we should do this and if we did, would they want a boy or girl. Jordyn said girl. Levi said boy. (surprising, right?) Then they each cheered at the thought! It was food for my soul! They are so sweet!
I don’t know when or how but I am waiting more anxiously now for the day I meet my child, born in my heart, born in love, created by the God of the universe who loves us deeply!
Mom and Dad, the Chapman girls are from China! They actually have a place called Maria's Big House of Hope in China, named after their daughter they lost. It's a place for special needs orphans to receive good medical care. And they have a foundation called Show Hope for aiding in adoptions. It's an awesome story.
No comments:
Post a Comment